so yesterday was my birthday {#36}...
I've been really thinking about what I wanted to post about over the last week. There have been so many thoughts running through my head. You see, the last 6-7 months have been crazy ones for me... lots of changes. Change? It's good. Even if it may not seem it at the time. Really. I have to tell myself that sometimes, but seriously, even with the inevitable stress, this has been one of the most fullfilling periods of my life.
You see, it all started towards the end of the school year last year. We had grown dissappointed in or daughter's caregiver & Dan & I felt it necessary to remove her from that situation. Very quickly I was back to being a full time stay at home mom AND trying to pull of my full time design position. Needless to say I was also putting in lots of nights & weekends to make up for what I couldn't accomplish during the day. I tried my hardest to do it all... mom, designer, caregiver, housekeeper, cook, homework helper... I know you moms know exactly what I'm talking about! But I was perfectly fine with it because I felt that it was what was right for Lydia & that was what mattered the most. Then, soon after my boss approached me about taking a freelance position with the company, feeling maybe I wanted to explore other avenues to get my designs "out there". To say the least, I was torn... I so wanted to move into designing more in my own style & was wanting to go down other paths to see what I could do... but I also LOVED all my co-workers, my bosses & well, you know, the money thing was hard to beat. Dan & I had several discussions over what to do, but I think really, my mind was made up to take this leap. So in the beginning of summer I was on my own. I worked tirelessly to design this website to be the home for Pink Trike Design {which by the way, I'm pretty proud of}! Over the last year or two I had been really wondering about digital scrapbook design... it seemed to me to be a perfect balance to me. Taking what I loved to do, but really putting my stamp on it... truly making it mine & sharing it with whoever was interested! In August I contacted Jen @ Design House Digital about designing for the site & was so happy to debut my very own store there in September! Whew! I've been on cloud nine ever since. I feel so lucky to take all the inspiration that I find & translate it into designs of my own. It's a whole new feeling for me... being able to fly with an idea, a color palette & just go for it. That's what I love about digital design! My hope is that all of you that use my designs feel that excitement come through too. And staying home with miss Lydia... it's the best. I'm so happy I'm getting to spend my days with her. This little girl is truly incredible, always amazes me & I just love how I get to spend this precious time with her... just like I was lucky enough to with the boys when they were her age. I truly believe it's one of those hidden blessings. You know, something you didn't know you needed to have happen, but in the end it could be the most wonderful thing that could have happened to you?
But that's not all that's happened {are you sick of my rambling yet?}. You see, in the beginning of June a friend asked me if I wanted to start going to Weight Watchers meetings with her. I'd been doing an on-again, off-again stint with the online version since Lydia's first birthday & had lost around 15 pounds, but thought the meetings might just push me in the right direction. So we started & I pulled my big sis in for the ride too. As of right now I'm 25 pounds down since I started in June & thinking 5 or 10 more until I reach my goal. This in itself has been an amazing journey for me. I really just joined because I wanted to be thinner, but I feel so much better about MYSELF as a person, more confident, more outgoing. My frequent headaches are no longer, I can run longer {okay, I'm still not a great runner}, I have more energy & I've found that maybe I can accomplish more & I'm a stronger girl than I initially thought. Know what else is great? I feel like I'm a better role model for my kids. I know Collin & Evan see the transformation in me & even at her young age, I think Lydia is aware of it as well. Oh, & I'm sure Dan would be the first to admit he is happy to have the girl back that he married over 16 years ago {ok, slightly modified & aged}.
So 35, you've been good to me, & I wish you could have stuck around longer, but maybe, just maybe I'll find even more surprising things out about myself at 36. I guess what I'm trying to tell you is... if you're thinking about a change... BIG or little, maybe you should take the leap like I did {ok so maybe not 3 biggies at once}. If you believe in yourself... that's what matters the most.
ps: thank you thank you thank you to everyone who sent so many sweet birthday wishes my way! I love you all :) Also thank you SO very much to all the people in my life that have supported me through all this crazy change... I'm sure some of you thought I was just that... CraZy! But I know you see now the change in me & I hope you're just as excited as I am. you know who you are ;)
love ya {robyn}
oh yeh & don't forget to get the birthday freebie in the previous post. I'll post again soon with another for you too :)
01.5.2011
